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April 1, 2014

Funky Fingers - Unicorn Farts Swatch & Review



So mainstream polish brands are hopping on board with the whole Unicorn secretion thing now. That's neat.

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When I saw this polish in the bottle at Five Below yesterday I was like:


http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121129171959/katamari/images/3/33/Chara-gifs-katamari-32861195-300-300.gif

And I guess I kind of thought maybe I could use it in a super creative way and, you know, place the glitters all pattern-y and stuff. I will literally never do that, I realize now. My nail polish ambitions are pretty low, guys. Or maybe one day I will and completely exceed your expectations! Juuuust maybe...

Anyway, Unicorn Farts is a rainbow assortment of one size of hex glitter. The glitter is a curly nightmare, first of all. And the clear base that the curly glitter lives together in is pretty thick. And the only way you can somewhat successfully use this polish (besides that fancy placement shiz I seriously promise you I will never actually try) is the fish-dab-fish method. You know that one? That's the one where you poke around in the bottle in hopes of grabbing a big ol' glob of glitter which, once you wipe off on the neck to be able to pick pieces up without having mostly base, immediately fall back into the bottle. I started using my thumbnail as an artists palette, as it were, to get glitter on the brush. And then I would anti-methodically place the glitter on the nail.

This is why I don't do tutorials, okay? You're welcome.

Shown below is that^ over Zoya - Raven with Essie G2G haphazardly slapped over top in a feeble attempt at getting the glitter to lay flat. It's too bad curly glitter looks so dang cool.




I don't know what else to say. This is going to be one of those polishes that I keep just to look at once in a while, and kind of for the name too.

8 comments:

  1. I love your reviews, just too funny!

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    1. Oh stop it. :) I'm happy to hear it! Thanks!

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  2. Oh man, too bad... such a beautifull glitter topper, too bad it's all nasty and curly .. .

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    1. Liiike, the glitter didn't literally come up off the nail in wild angles like it kind of looks like in the picture, but it would take waaay too much topcoat to flatten what little bit does stick up, you know?

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks! I pretty much just foof out the words that happen in my brain. Which I guess is probably what everybody does. I just don't, uh, edit it well. Ha ha.

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  4. Ugh. Curly glitter. I cannot stand that mess. Makes you wanna get a hammer out and pound it down lol. But seriously...it's so dang annoying. It took me forever to come around to texture polish and how bumpy it is...but I will never come around to curly glitter. Yuck. Blah. No way, no how. lol

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    1. Yeah, I sold that polish. Ha ha. It looked cool, and honestly the curl wasn't really apparent in terms of sticking up off the nail, but I cannot handle dabbing individual pieces of glitter on the nail. May as well just buy actual glitter, you know?

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