So I'm still pregnant, and right now I'm watching Chopped and literally dumping the last crumbles from a bag of Snyder of Berlin Vlasic Dill Pickle Flavored Potato Chips into my gaping maw.
Let me tell you a story about my first pregnancy. About half-way in, I was stricken with a sudden and desperate craving for a Taco Bell 1/2 lb cheesy bean and rice burrito, so I went through the drive-through and was told that the 1/2 lb cheesy bean and rice burrito had been discontinued THAT VERY DAY. I begged him to make one anyway, and was told that it wasn't possible because they didn't have all the ingredients anymore (which I later found out was a lie from the pit of hell) so I held back tears and ordered a seven layer burrito and nachos.
At boyfriend's house to eat, and I could only make it through the burrito, but I have this habit of assigning personalities to inanimate objects, so I started to feel guilty about ordering nachos but not eating them. But I really didn't want them, and my boyfriend didn't want them, and then he decided to give them a sad, little voice, talking about how excited they were that they were chosen and how important and special they felt, and then how utterly devastated they were that I was basically abandoning them to suffer in the trash, alone. My boyfriend loves to tell this story, especially the part where I break down and sob uncontrollably for 15 minutes because of how I've wronged nachos.
He burned me an apology CD later, titled "Cry all you want to; Nachos don't have feelings".
Sometimes when I laugh really hard during pregnancy, my brain's brain strokes out and I start crying instead. Like, not crying and still laughing, but pathetic sad-crying. The most recent culprit of emotional fudgery was due to this little gem:
I'm talking about my boyfriend a lot lately, god, sorrryyyyy, but he was talking the other day about how cats are the glitchiest animal, which I think is a perfect descriptor. They're all graceful and shit, but the second even the tiniest thing goes wrong they're just done for. Cats are weird, guys.
So nail polish. I bought the three most recent Enchanted Polish mystery monthlies and they had better rule so hard. I also bought, kind of a while ago, this Pahlish mystery holo that reminds me of DS Illumination with subtle linear holo. It's pretty... MAYBE I'LL SWATCH IT SOMETIME. I didn't tell you, but just after my last swatch, I broke two nails on my swatch hand and hacked all my nails off all gone. But now they're growing back, but they're still stumpy, and I wish my nail beds didn't grow practically out of the very tippy-tops of my fingers. :(
My blog has over 23,000 views on it, which I nev-er imagined possible. I feel like I just started gaining a bit of a readership (thank you! Brandy loves you!) and then I get all pregnant and drop the blog-ball.
I'll make it up to you.