Fingr's: Lace Up Nail Art Review

I have a COLD. We're moving in two days and I have a cold. In August.
Here are my nails:

Sunlight, OBVIOUSLY.

I did the gradient using Essie - Meet Me at Sunset (favoriteeee) and Flower - Eye of the Tiger Lily. No sponge nonsense, just a couple layers of Sunset and a slow build up of Tiger Lily towards the tips.

Anyway, then I see these appliques at Wally World and decide to go for it.

Firstly, I know these are probably made for tweens-through-early-20s kinds of ladyfolk, but I have some long, skinny piano player fingers, and the width of the ring finger sticker was still, like, half of what I actually needed. In fact, none of the stickers were wide enough. Seriously, little kid sizes here. 

Application was all fine and well enough. I tried re-positioning the first one and once I started trying to pull the thing off it wasn't having it. Tear city, and some, I don't know, stress discoloration. So whatever. And I had to clip about half of it off since my widdle nay-ools are still-a growin'. 

Can I just tell you how much it bums me out that I don't feel well? I seriously have SO MUCH TO DO. Even writing this, I'm like, "meh". I would so rather just be watching TV and eating Hot Dog Chips (which are SO GOOD and I'm not even getting paid to say so!!!!!!) 

Anyway, so my nails have spots on them, and that picture is AWFUL and there's black sh all over the place from trying to fill in the blanks with black nail art polish and this living room smells like a diaper and I can't figure out why, because there aren't any diapers laying around. LIFE.

Got my Ipsy bag today finally. Happy with it. Will I start posting reviews about that kind of stuff? I MEAN SINCE I HAVE SOOOO MUCH ELSE TO TELL YOU ABOUT. Whatever. I want to take a nap.

Um, the appliques were all right. My nails look pretty neat when they're not all up in my face and I can notice all the insane flaws. OUT.

Adventures in Nail Striping Tape, Round 2

Pinterest, am I right?

After about 2039402934802 posts tagged "Great Gatsby Nails" I found THE prettiest nail tape design ever at Coewless Polish. I implore you to look at it. And now my, um, poorly manufactured knockoff:

Essie - Good as Gold and LA Colors - Fiji Purple, sunlight

I feel like this should sort of be one of those lessons in how not to paint one's nails. I guess, as a first-time experiment, it could have gone worse. Do you notice how the gold is looking pretty pink? That's the Fiji Purple bleeding like a mother after Seche Vite application. I did wear a base coat, but I'm still expecting my nails to be a stained mess after this one.

OKAY and the bubbles. Ohhhhhhh the bubbles. The biggest sigh.

I did this last night while watching a 6-part series called When We Left Earth: The NASA Missions. It bums me out that the US shuttle program got shut down. Do you ever think about how insane it is that man was even able to build a machine that could propel and keep him two-hundred miles away from the planet? In the 1960s, no less! You think about the kind of technology we have now and how archaic and quaint things from the 60s seem and it's mindblowing. It was all trial and error, and yet there were teams of people who dedicated their entire lives to the exploration of the unknown. I tend to romanticize stuff a lot, but things are real bleak when funding for space exploration gets cut. All the things we don't know.

Some life form far away (who, you know, evolved in such a way that the nails on their weird space-hands are these badass weapons... like barbed electrical talons or something) thinks it's just adorable that this bunch of Earth-matrons decorate whatever the dainty, delicate things are that are growing out the ends of their touchy-bits.

I would love to have been an astronaut except that I couldn't be less suited for the job.