Catrice - Dirty Berry

Hey!

I am 1.) tired and 2.) nauseous. Like, soooooooooooooo tired. So tired.

Today I have a have an infamous little friend named Dirty Berry by the German brand Catrice, which I happily received in a swap.

Dirty Berry is a dusty medium purple with scattered holo that, due to the misfortune of partially cloudy skies, is pretty much invisible in the pictures. Regardless, it's a pleasant color that's quite shiny without topcoat. The formula was a bit runny (despite the Catrice website going on about perfect coverage in one coat and all of that... no way, man) but I'm not even mad about it. Runny, shmunny. This polish isn't available in the ol' States, plus it's discontinued, so I don't know what to tell you.

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

Swatches show three coats without topcoat under indirect sunlight, OKAY??

Ah, so... yeah. Dirty Berry.
I should be receiving some pretty awesome polishes in the mail over the next couple of days so hopefully my blog will be able to climb out of the rut of suck.

Hey, how about Mountain Dew Baja Blast being sold outside of Taco Bell now? I'm pretty okay with it! You know what I'm not okay with? Taco Bell discontinuing the cheesy bean and rice burrito. Holy shmow, I just got THE STRONGEST CRAVING for one of those. It's been, like, three years almost since they did, but I can still taste it. I don't typically advocate fast food, but every so often my body requires it. Gross and awesome.

omg all I want in this entire world is a cheesy bean and rice burrito. OOH OR MAYBE CHIPOTLE.

Polishnv - Fire In The Sky, Tilt A-Whirl, Route 66 and Mermaid Tears Swatches & Reviews

Hi guys! HEY!! Do you see that little picture up there? The one that says "Press Sample"??!! THIS IS MY VERY FIRST PRESS SAMPLE AND I AM SO PUMPED. Alsooo I changed my watermark finally. Now people won't be left wondering what the F an "lbol" is. I kind of finally feel like a real blogger!!

Today I have four (very soon to be released) colors from Polishnv. Purchasing info can be found at the bottom... after all the pictures and reviews and stuff. So let's dig right in, shall we?

The formulas with Fire In The Sky and Mermaid Tears were similar; three thin coats for opacity. I also used three coats with Tilt A-Whirl but you could likely get away with two. Route 66 only required two coats for opacity. They all applied smoothly and were neither too thin or thick. All of the swatches are shown with topcoat, with the first two pictures of each polish being taken in the sun while the last one shows it in the shade. Did you get all that?


Up first is Fire In The Sky, a purple/pink/red to rusty orange metallic duochrome with linear holo. Not a color I would ordinarily have chosen to wear, I quite like what it looks like on. It is a bit of a chameleon, shifting to varying shades of red/orange at different angles and lighting. The righteousness of the duochrome, however, is also most apparent out of direct light.

Tilt A-Whirl is a summery bright light purple that has the most subtle linear holo of the bunch. I love this kind of purple -- I swatched it last so I could wear it around for a bit! It takes on a softer berry tone in the shade but really pops in the sun.

Route 66 looks, in the bottle, like a vampy burgundy red with subtle linear holo but applies lighter and takes on a raspberry quality in the sun. I thought this color was going to be a bit too dark for Summer but it's totes nots. I'm looking at the bottle indoors, right now, and it seriously looks brick red. What a little trickster.

Finally we have Mermaid Tears, my (unsurprising) favorite of the bunch. Heavenly shade of blue? Check. Aqua flash? Check. Having to do with crying? Check! I would punch a mermaid in her throat if I knew her eye juice was this pretty. To, you know, make her cry so I could collect her tears... not just because I had the knowledge... anyway, it's real pretty is what I'm saying. It's also got kind of a scattered linear holo, if that makes any kind of sense. The arch is loose, but it's there.

These little darlings will be available on the Polishnv Etsy Site (which can be found here!) soon and will be sold for $9 bucks a pop, full size style.

Colors by Llarowe - Paper Moon Swatch & Review

Hi guys.

I know this is probably going to break your hearts and for that I am deeply apologetic, but my blogging may become a bit more sporadic for a while, here. I found out a thing, and I need to find out other things concerning this thing before I can confidently go forward and blog.

I'll keep you posted, though. It's a good thing, by the way. :) See?

Today I have a bit of a lemming for your viewing pleasure: Paper Moon by Colors by Llarowe by. Unfortunately, she's discontinued as of, like, a week ago. Sorrrryyyyy.

Say it's only a hmm hmm hmmmmmm...

Paper Moon is a lilac insane-o linear holo. Like, you can almost hear this nail polish yelling excited obscenities in the sun. As per the us... how would you write out the awful, short form of "usual"? What makes that z+sh sound? Zh? Yoozh. Yewzh. Anyway, per the norm, the formula with this was bomb and dope and all of that. Budduh.

Shown below is two coats with topcoat. The first picture shows Paper Moon in direct sunlight, the second is indirect sunlight and the third is shade.

"HOLY SH*% I'M HOLOGRAPHIC"

Don't be too sad if you missed out on this; CbL is releasing 35 new shades on May 26th so you're sure to find something else to fill the void in your hearts. Your poor hearts are going through a lot these days, huh?

Oh, also, Llarowe describes a few of them as "strong linear holo" which I, uh, clearly hate.

Funky Fingers - 220 Volts, Let The Beat Drop and BPM Swatchs & Reviews

Hey!

Here's part two of my non-designated-as-such Funky Fingers Neon Shimmers (mostly) Extravaganza 2k14. This is what I was telling you about yesterday!!!!!

The odd one out of these three is 220 Volts, which is a straight neon, no shimmer. In fact, he doesn't really even belong with the other five, I wouldn't say, but he's what I bought so I'm just gonna make it wor----

HOLY SHHHH. Lightning just struck about 2 inches from my house just now. It was so close I heard the crackle before the thunderclap. I'm gonna go ahead and put my heart back into my body real fast.

Fun Fact: Brandy + Thunderstorms = Panic Attack Citaaaay

Ehem, so anyway, work. These are all over Funky Fingers - Gesso under OttLite.

220 Volts is about as neon blue as you can get. The formula was a bit thin so I ended up needing three coats instead of two. I'm not in love with this polish... it's blue, and that's about all it has going for it. I think I'm just spoiled by the shimmer. This one was color corrected slightly for brightness matching purposes.

The one that I figured would be my favorite but ended up not being is this one: Let The Beat Drop. Kind of a neon-ish cornflower blue with pink shimmer. I ended up needing three coats to even it out. It's not really neon, but it's oddly brighter on the nail than you'd think it'd be from the bottle. Possibly because of the bright-ass white underneath? We may never know.

And finally my favorite of the three: BPM, which I'm pretty sure stands for Brandy, Polish Maniac. This reminds me of Formula X For Sephora - Hyped which I also adore. It's neon magenta with I don't even know, purple? Blue? shimmer. There's a lot more depth and saturation in this polish than my camera was able to capture. It's also rad even in lower lighting!

So there it is. I'm not dead by lightning either!
Like I said, there were a few more sans-shimmer neon Funky Fingers but I might pass on them if they're like 220 Volts. I don't wear neons enough to justify buying polish just for the sake of having it.

Wait... no, I justify it pretty regularly actually. Especially when it's what??
[crowd response] SUPER CHEAP! [clapping, cheering]

Funky Fingers - All The Rave, Drop The Bass and Glowstick Swatches & Reviews

Okay! No more blog hiatus (holy sh what an awful word combo).

Today I have three neon shimmers from !!! Five Below again. I knoooooooooooow. They're just so cheap. How could I not? Three for five bones, if you didn't somehow know. And these, especially, are AWESOME. Cheap polish, as a generalization, is a gamble when it comes to quality.  However, I am absolutely in LOVE with these. What sets these guys apart from your standard highlighter brights is that they have shimmer. Oooo. Aaahh.

Little Bottles of Love [Actually!]

So I don't have to say the same dang thing over and over again, the formula on these three are all the same, and are all great: opaque in 2 easy coats. They dried with a touch of matte so I used topcoat. They're also swatched over Funky Fingers - Gesso (pronounced jess-oh... thanks art school) which is a decent opaque white. Oh my godddd these were somucheasiertoswatchthantheeffingessiesuuuuggggg.

Also they're all taken under OttLite cuz direct sunlight gave my camera seizures. :(

...

First up is All the Rave (are raves still a thing? God, I'm so sheltered. I used to wear about a million chunky neon plastic bracelets when I was 15 and that was the extent of my rave phase, ha ha. I was really into band is the kind of girl I was, so) which is a cool-toned neon pink with yellow shimmer. My camera tried to make this one like, some kind of weird coral shade so I had to color correct it some, though it's still kind of sucktastic. Imagine the nails being more what's-in-the-bottle colored with the yellow shimmer being closer and more contained to around the highlights... does that help? No?

Next is Drop The Bass which is safety vest orange also with yellow shimmer. This is the first neon orange that I've ever actually really liked. Also color corrected but the color is way more accurate than pink-guy up there. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you to enlarge the photos for your viewing pleasure. The shimmer is more apparent when they're big.

And finally we have Glowstick which is the very color of a lightning bug's hindquarters. This is my favorite of the three. It's literally yellow highlighter with (shock! awe!) yellow shimmer. I know you're not going to believe it but I color correct this MFer too. But this is freaking what it looks like. uLtImAtE sWoOn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, these bishes are tree for fie doll hairs at your local Five Below. Bargain of the dang century, if you were to ask for my thoughts on the subject. You need Glowstick in your life, I'm telling you right now. Take my word for it. Please, take it. You're welcome. I love you.

Oh, hey, tomorrow I'll have three more of these bad boys for you (although one of them doesn't have shimmer, and there were actually quite a lot of other neons at 5 B-lo that I didn't pick up which didn't have shimmer but still intrigue me and also one of the ones I'm showing you tomorrow isn't really a neon but it has a rave name so Iunno). Get pumped, y'all!

Revlon Street Wear - Monster Mash

Oh, hey, it's Tuesday.

May the Fourth, Cinco de Mayo and all of that! I played Lego The Hobit for most of the weekend and volunteered with my best friend at a food bank yesterday. We did, however, go to a pretty excellent Mexican restaurant after so I guess that kind of counts.

Oh, hey, the mailman's here and it's only 10:30am.

I don't remember from where or at what age I procured a certain Street Wear Monster Mash, but I had it, and now I don't because I sold it. Because I hadn't worn it for about a hundred years. But now I kind of regret it. I swatched it a while before putting it up for sale and was like 'oh, this is neat, but I won't wear it on the reg'.  And now I kind of miss it.

I took a bunch of pictures of it. It's from the 90s, it's green, and is glittery. It's, like, a full-coverage glitter. I'm pretty sure this was only three thin layers over nothing. Nothing but nailz. Also it's pretty much impossible to find, I guess. I saw one that was auctioned on British eBay for $62. I didn't sell it for close to that much because a.) evap and b.) I painted the bottle handle with other nail polish years ago and when I was cleaning it off with polish remover it started smudging the ink of the label off. Such lame. I also had Costume Party (which I didn't swatch before selling :/) and still have Black Widow and I kind of feel like maybe they were sold in a set together.

Oh, hey, also this polish is the only example of the use of bar glitter than doesn't make me puke in my mouth.

So anyway, here's six of those pictures I was telling you about:

Under OttLite

Under OttLite

Under OttLite

Natural light, shade

Natural light, shade

Direct sunlight

Sooooo, yeah. I probably would have worn this again, actually, now that I'm staring at these pictures. I mean, I'm glad Monster Mash has gone to somebody who will love him. I liked him all right in a sentimental way, but I didn't really treasure his full value. If you love a polish, let it go...

We just weren't that close, you know? But maybe we could have been. Maybe I should have just given him a chance.

Hey, so I've been writing this while listening a conversation going on and I'm not even going to reread it because I'm sure what I've written is absolutely brilliant. I'm, like, 101% confident.

Funky Fingers - Neon Glitters Swatches & Reviews

Hiiii.

Today, for you! I have the Funky Fingers Neon Glitters (collection?) from Five Below. There are three polishes in the set, named in embarrassing homage to television shows from the late 80s/early 90s (AKA the grodiest time period in history). The formula is, unshockingly, the same amongst the three: not too thick with a good glitter payoff. The swatches all show one coat of Funky Fingers over a pastel gradient with topcoat.

Saved by the Glitter - Three sizes of hex glitter in neon blue and neon pink with small white hex glitter in a clear base (over ORLY - Pretty-Ugly  & CoverGirl - Peek a Boo Pink).

Glitter Matters - Three sizes of hex glitter in neon pink and neon yellow with small white hex glitter in a clear base (over CoverGirl - Peek a Boo Pink & ORLY - Melodious Utopia).

Glitter Explains it All - Three sizes of hex glitter in neon yellow/green and neon blue with small white hex glitter in a clear base (over ORLY - Melodious Utopia & ORLY - Pretty-Ugly).

My favorite is Saved by the Glitter, but I really quite like all three. I liked the Salon Perfect Neon Collision Collection released last summer (which is the only other kind of neon glitter polish I own)  but I'm more into the size variations of the glitter in these, plus I like how the white glitter breaks things up a little bit. If you're looking for a good, cheap (3 for $5), Summery glitter topper, here you go. Yoooooou're welcome!

Fishtail Nail Art

Have you ever gone to a spirit/food pairing? It's, uh, pretty great. Andy and I went to one last night at The Winking Lizard, oddly enough. There was kind of this little side room with about 40 people in it at tables at the back of the restaurant. We go there late (of course) and were enthusiastically greeted by Laphroaig Master Ambassador Simon Brooking in all his Scottish-accented glory (swoon for days. Scottish accents are absolutely my favorite accents in all the world) and two delicious Laphroaig 10 Year cocktails as we awkwardly made our way to our seats. It was a four course dinner (Scotch Egg Salad, Maple Glazed Duck Flatbread, Prime Rib with Sweet Potato Frites and Bleu Cheese and Bacon Brussels Sprouts, Hand-made Spicy Chocolate S'more) which were paired with four Laphroaig scotches (10 Year, Triple Wood, 10 year Cask Strength, 18 Year) and it was delicious. I've never been much for scotch (and Laphroaig, by nature, is incredibly smoky and peaty and a little intense to a scotch novice like me) but the event was informative, entertaining and fun. I was definitely a giggly doofus by the end.

Little Bottles of Scotch.

So I saw this fishtail nail art at Vampy Varnish and decided it would be the perfect thing to jazz up my fingies. I hadn't tried the fishtail yet so I was apprehensive at the whole free-handedness of it but it was actually pretty painless, and the result was exactly what I was looking for.

Colors used were:
Literary Lacquer - Some Glad Morning (turquoise)
Colors by Llarowe - Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (blue)
Essie - As Good As Gold (gold)

Taken in direct sunlight with my very fancy vintage Hermes Deux Éperons bracelet that I'm waaay too lower-middle class to properly own.

What do you think? I miss my length but I'm happy to be able to somewhat pull of nail art, if only simple designs, still.